Friday, July 07, 2006

I gotta be me

Yesterday was one of those days that I just did not get the time to blog. But that's ok as this is not a job and I can and will procrastinate as I often do. I have had many jobs in my life time and have been known to quit a few along the way. In the beginning of my determination to start blogging, I told myself that if and when it became a job and not a pleasure, then I might quit.
I am not a writer by an means. In fact, I am a lady of few words. I grew up in the 50's and I was very shy and continued to be shy until I got well into my late 30's.
Shyness is a miserable feeling. I rank it along there with being homesick. Makes your heart and whole being just miserable. I don't know where we were going or why but I was in the backseat of a car and think we were going to check on mama putting us in an orphanage. Anyways, I had always attended the First Baptist Church in our little hometown then. Just outta the blue, that preacher asked me if I was a "staunch" Baptist? He may as well have shot me with a slingshot. I was bashful and since I knew I was a Baptist at that time, I had no idea as to what in the daylights did "staunch" mean. I was so scared I didn't say anything back. The reason I remember it so well is because it put me on the spot and as a shy youngster I was horrified.
Being homesick is a real sickness and I went through a lot of that when mama would be gone for weeks and weeks in the hospital at Walter Reed. I would go outside at night at Aunt Maie's house and sit on the doorsteps looking at the heavens and thinking I wonder if those same stars are over Walter Reed where mama is.
I started blogging not realizing maybe some folks other than my kin folks and friends would ever even read it. I have no titles, no fame, no political interest other than my freedom to vote so I really have little to offer. I did win the spelling bee in the 8th grade. That was my last year in our little town cause mama died prior to my starting the 9th grade. The memories are implanted in the "pleasure" part of my brain's memory bank. Very, very sentimental to me. So, in 1990 I was invited to a class reunion of what would have been mine too if mama hadn't died. Oh I was so excited... until I got there. I felt like I had a sign around my neck saying "It wasn't my idea to invite you" as I did not feel welcome. They had not had to walk in my shoes or I don't think they would have been so blatantly rude. That was the last and only class reunion I have ever attended.
I also made All State in basketball my senior year; as well as played on the East-West AllStar Girl's Basketball team for North Carolina. Other than being a tad over 6' tall , I am just an ordinary peon.
I enjoy each and every comment I receive on my blog, they all are welcomed and all having merit in their opinions and I thank you. I have to be me....Sure I see things I might wanna do or have on my blog. It might happen one day. I choose to be me, because as we all know, there are the good, bad and the ugly. This ole dog can still learn new tricks, but only if she wants too and it also takes longer. I love that freedom and with having age-- lots of times, been there, done that, applies frequently.
What you see is what you get and I thank God for allowing me to be myself and making new friends along the way in such a short period of time. For anything that starts, it has its stops now and then and that is the where I am today. Finished my blog! Good day. God Bless!

3 comments:

Ron Southern said...

Tall women CAN blog! Don't lose that photo, it's a good one. Looks great at the top of the blog.

Marci said...

Great post. BE YOURSELF. God made each one of us special. Some may make fun of us, but that is their problem. God bless.

Moobear said...

farm girl, God Bless you hon, your site is just what I needed and right now! God does work in mysterious ways! I thank you so much for your comment which led me to your site. It is such a refreshing site and I look forward to going there tomorrow with my morning coffee and hearing the beautiful music and seeing more on your site. May you have a good night and I will talk with you later. Come back to see me cause I will sure go see you. God Bless!!