Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Being married to an only child...and a little about Doc...

Way back in 1967 when we married, we were just not the norm. Hubby was an only child, the son of a two great parents. Hence, I had a mother and father- in- law, on the other hand, he had only me, no in-laws and only my brother that he rarely saw up until a few years ago when he divorced and remarried and as I had often wanted my brother back, I did get him back and happy days are here again. He and I had to be very close growing up in order to survive. We now are bonded by love for each other and the family love of his wonderful wife.

Hubby did have it easy in comparison to me. In that he didn't have to bother with those not so nice stories we all have heard of mother- in- laws! Mine was different, a loving, always dressed to the tee lady and was and still is the spiritual bond that kept the family on track. Impressions were instilled in my two sons --from their mamaw and from being taken to church, never being drug, but went willingly and when they got older, they still chose to go to church and still do today as adults.

My mother-in-law recently turned 90 years old. Things are not exactly as they once were nor her actions as they should be--due to age and possibly her light stroke 3 years ago. She and I have always been totally different in many ways, but now she and I are too much alike, it is scary. She, like me, does nothing except go to the doctor, get her hair done, go to the grocery store and pick up her meds. Most 90 year olds don't drive, but so far so good with her driving, although she is the only person that I know of that bumped a curb and she had to cough up over $500 for that little curb crash. After being the church secretary for 41 years and being on the church board that long too, the church honored her on her retirement last year in a beautiful service and lunch for her with all her family there that could come. Hubby had talked to the preacher and the church board as mamaw was not able to handle her own $, my hubby was doing it; so surely she needed not to be handling and depositing the church monies. Heavens forbid!
Other than being a whole lot forgetful, she does well. See- I forget too. Again the only difference tween her and me now is 28 years!

We do find neglect in small things that never would have been twenty years ago, sorta like the dust I shared with you earlier. Sad when I go down there and actually see dust in her neat, flower filled house. The stove is no longer used. Her freezor is full and she keeps buying things. Yes, her son needs to clean it out. Cause I ain't! She did not retire until she was 70 and then volunteered at the nursing home and she delivered the prune juice there for many years until she finally gave that up.

Poor hubby calls patient #1 in the morning to make sure she knows what day it is cause she is bad to want to go a day early for her hair fixing and prayer meeting. He makes sure she knows what she has to do for the day. He then calls patient #2 and I tell him my aches and most days tell him if I am going to one or two of my four places that I have to go to weekly. Mamaw likes the grocery store real good. She goes every day. She likes the deli chicken and eats chicken bout ever day, but so far I ain't seen no chicken feathers on top of the dust when I go on a rare visit down there with hubby.

God blessed my doctor with ALL of my mother-in-laws folks so he knows the apple don't fall far from the tree. He took mamaw's license when she had her stroke and it made her madder than a setting hen. Doc told Hubby on one of his visits that he was going to let her start back driving but the wise son that he is, told Doc not right yet so Doc obliged. She would really have been mad if she had known Hubby had his two cents worth in that decision! I am just thinking why I am calling him so politely Doc here ,when in reality I always call him Ding Dong, cept to his face. He is also my hubby's doctor and Ding Dong toldem one day when hubby had an appointment with him, "Tween your mother and your wife", I don't see how in the h*** you stand it." Now now, that ain't patient confidentiality.

Mamaw can come up with some real good funnies in her demented stage of her life. Although concerned as we are for her, we just have to laugh as a whole lot of her utters now are so dang funny. We also know that her spinning and grinning days are nearing a close. She has already been told the next curb that jumps out in front of her, so goes her freedom of driving. The also possibilty of her coming to live permanently with us is fast approaching and the thought elevates my "anxiety" to a record breaker. We, lol, ( I ) kept her for three weeks when she had her stroke. At the time I didn't know she didn't like the tv on all the time nor did she know that she was getting on my nerve really, really bad. Little DID I know until a year or so later that I GOT on her nerve too! Who woulda thought it? So after three weeks and my nerve shot, hubby says I will take her home and stay with her a while. hehe...... After three weeks of going down there after he ate supper and relaxed some here after he got off work, then went down to her house, he came home saying of all things, that she got on his nerves too. Wooohoooo, what's new?

Today was the best one of many of mamaw's expressions and comments she says at the most unlikely and not always the best place to say. Hubby had called patient #1 as usual this morning and as always as he is hanging up, he told her to stay in out of the heat today and to take it easy........ mamaw says, "well when it is this hot and you are 90 years old and horney, there ain't much more you can do."
Moobear giggles.....I am just sure she meant
ornary, as you folks know the H is silent in some words. That word used ain't ever been in her vocabulary but I guess when I get 90 they may slip in through my cracks too.

Until a cooler day.......

God Bless!


Gattina said...

Good morning ! I am VERY early today it's 4 am ! Just to tell you that I also am an only child (my son too) but my italian mother in law was phantastic ! we used to chat until 3 or 4 am while we were there on holidays. She was a very intelligent woman and had a lot of stories to tell. Unfortunately she died in 1988 and I never went back to Italy ever since. I would miss her too much. But MY mother was the worst example of the bad mother in law ! Not to my husband but to me. Such a possessive person.

Moobear said...

I did not intend to sound as if I were slighting my mother in law as she is the most precious lady in the world. I have truly been blessed to have had her in my 39 years of being married to her son.
Thanks for the comments and let me know the address for your new blog on Arthur.
God Bless!

Gattina said...

I never thought you had a bad mother in law ! I just wanted to tell about mine ... TN said...

O.K. Claudia, I will try this one again on Mothers-in-Law....That cracked me up about yours...I have one to tell you about mine.... She still uses the N word! Thinks nothing of it, because she was raised up that way. I took her to church every Sunday until about 6 months ago. She fell and broke her hip so therefore she isn't well enough to go to church or anywhere for that matter. She doesn't hear well and if you have ever been around people that doesn't hear well, you know that they talk LOUDER than here is the rest of the story... In church one Sunday, we had people from India to speak that day. About five of them were sitting two pews in front of me and Mamaw. In a very loud voice she said to me, "Their N's don't look like our N's. I just about died. I just squeezed her hand and kinda shook my head at her. She didn't have a clue she had said anything distasteful.
I taught her to drive when she was 62. She had never been under a steering wheel before. (I wouldn't have the nerve now) She ran in the ditch a couple of times, tore down a fence and one day she left my house and in about thirty minutes she came back with blood all over her face and said "I had a wreck". She had run into the back of a school bus.
Another time she and a friend (a man) after her dear husband died, her friend wanted her to take him to PA to see some of his people. Well, she was way up in her 80's. She got in her car with her friend and takes off. On the PA turnpike she took a wrong turn and wound up in New York City. I'm glad I didn't know that at the time. She told us when she got back home. I can't imagine driving in New York City myself, let along having HER drive there. I ask her if she was nervous. She said "No, not until I got out of there"... and then she had to take a few nerve pills. I'm sure glad I wasn't along for the ride...LOL
Finally, in her late 80's my husband just took her license away from her and told her she couldn't drive any more. She stayed mad at him awhile but finally got over it...(I think) maybe that's why she calls ME now instead of HIM when she needs something....I never had thought of that.LOL Well, that's the rest of the story. I hadn't thought of it in a long time until I read your story. Oh, BTW, there was a Bunting's Drug Store in Bristol at one time. Could that have been any of your in-laws? It was the oldest drug store in the state of TN I believe. I could never understand why they tore it down. Maybe it's what they call progress, but not according to me.I'm out of here now to get some much needed sleep. P>S> That is another LONG story for another time!!!! Take Care!