but I fail to take myself serious enough. I do most things in life right or the very best I know how. I try hard to live like the good Lord wants me too and always have been concerned about and for others. I never would have intentionally hurt anyone and try hard not to by accident. Although as we all know, the truth hurts sometime.
As for myself, I had a long talk with me last night as I sat once again in the dark on my "thinking stool". I can be serious, but only if I have to. Some things require it in life, but as I have gotten older, it usually involves sadness in one way or another. I handle whatever it is as it should be when these events occur. But I still should make some changes for myself -to myself. I had far rather have fun and make fun out of situations than stick with the intent of the situation. I just find it so hard to be a serious person and I need to change that.
For some reason our health insurance company coverage is a free perk from my husband's place of employment and for back to back years they have actually stayed with the same insurance company. When we first enrolled a nurse would call me every week, then they cut back to two weeks and now I am on a monthly call basis. Why, I have no idea, but I always enjoy talking with them and oft times they are male nurses. But that's ok. Anyhow, after thinking about the change I need to make in me today, a nurse happened to call while I was busy having an angina attack. I told her I didn't feel good, so wouldn't shoot no bull and for her to go ahead and ask all them questions, but that NO my meds had not changed! Although I was hurting I still had to try extra hard to be serious, something about those folks infactuate me. They are So serious sounding all the time, specially today. Well I behaved pretty good for a while, asked her a few questions I had been wondering about and ended up covering my entire body. In the meantime my pain was increasing and I just told her that she would hafta scuse me while I took a nitro. She ask me had I taken any today and I said yeah, had to take one this morning. Nothing ever causes it, it just happens and it is no fun. So I was hoping she would hurry up and shut up, which she finally did.
I thought I made it through that conversation without straying totally off subject, so why couldn't I do that all the time, anywhere and at anytime. That is my goal, is to be more serious, not depressing serious, but enough to not act like a complete fool as I usually do. It will be harder I think than stopping smoking and I am thinking long and hard about quitting that too. Can I do either?...or both? I think I can....I think I can...
So taking only one thing at a time, I will try to be a more serious person at the grocery store, at the doctor's office, when we got out to eat and in general ALL public places and even at home. The telephone calls are the hardest, but that too, I will work on.
I get on my own nerves with my hyper happiness, so surely I must others, therefore, I shall try to be calmer and whole lots more serious. No guarantees, but like I say, I will try most anything once.
Til a better day...