This is hard to do. I keep hearing and reading of freedom of speech and I thought that meant me too. I am quite the opposite now than when I was young and needed and should have been more assertive.
I do find that it is wise to shut up only when the conversation is headed in a direction of which I have no knowledge of. I do not pretend to have all the answers for all the situations and problems in this old world. Otherwise, I pretty much tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they may. I know the truth hurts cause I have heard it before.
It is not my nature to hurt anyone along life's way via a remark from my much used mouth and tact is used only when necessary. I used to be so shy I absolutely could not talk to known people well and not at all around strangers and I was one more miserable person. I have found that for the most part, people need and enjoy a little cheer and need fools like me to come in contact with as there are some real sourpussed people out there. I ain't wanting to be one of'm therefore I have turned into a very content, uncaring of what anybody thinks of me, yet sane enough to control myself... most of the time... person.
If something is one way, then it should be told or accepted as that way. No sugar coating, no dodging, cause if it is a fact, it remains a fact. I see blogging as pretty much talking to myself cause I am only repeating something I already know and telling something that has already happened and so I consider it talking to myself online-- just as I so often do offline! Like yesterday, a day could not have started out much worse, nor ended much better than it did. I had the sheer pleasure of a visit from my ex-daughter- in- law and her precious little 6 month old daughter, Caroline. Although she and my son have been divorced 8+ years, she is still, in my heart, the daughter I never had. She came only a few short hours after I had mentally already programmed myself to go to the ER, but by the Grace of God and a little nitro pill, the worst so far of whatever it is accepted all the help it could get. Going on little to no sleep, after getting the call that Steph was crossing the county line and would soon be here, I had forgotten the pain, but not the Lord that had taken me through a rough morning.
Little Caroline is beginning to look like the little girl that she is. Her baby, baby look is waning and her little girl stuff is beginning to show and of course I just cannot hardly keep my hands off of her. I was overpowered of less grinning time with Grandma Claudia since she and Roxy have this thing going. They both quickly fell in love with each other on their last visit. I was slap pushed aside and it was just Roxy and Caroline playing. All four of us was on the floor. Although with me holding Roxy and mom holding little Caroline back a ways, she let Caroline go and I got to see her crawl as she just had to get to Roxy, which she did. She crawled close enough that they started that now notorious art of sharing kisses! It got so bad, I finally told Steph. "Please stop them, they are making me sick". Caroline has two BIG dogs at home so their tongues are in no way compared to a swipe by Roxy's little tongue. If she is sitting on the floor at home, they can lick her over, but she just bounces back for more.
Nothing could have made me feel better than seeing both of them yesterday. And yes Steph, hon I will get to the doctor. Thank you for loving me. We have a bond put there only by the good Lord as she and I are natured just alike, tho' she admitted has mellowed as well. We always clicked and divorce did not change any of the families attitude towards the other. I am very happy to have a little part in Caroline's life. She is not scared of me as I am so tall, as her mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunts, all are tall folks! Steph is the youngest of 6 girls. There were two sets of twins in the family. Steph is a twin, the only son, Stephen, died at the age of two, due to a heart condition. :(
As they were loading to leave, Caroline was no longer clean, she had a cute little dress with a white color, which now had a rim of carrots trimmed neatly around the collar, but mama did wash her face and all other remaining parts with carrots on them. Roxy and I were standing there with both our tongues hanging out, Caroline was crying at the entry into her carseat. She just did not like it. Steph as usual was the happy, proud mom. Got our hugs and as they drove away, me and Roxy was already looking forward to their next visit.
Tho' a bad morning, a great day, a good night's sleep and a day in my memory bank! Full of others, that I refer back to often and YES at times I just have to share them with you good folks.......so until...