Monday, November 27, 2006

lemme back up a minute...

Ok, I am not good at saying some things. It has been brought to my attention by Jana and btw I will try my best to remember your birthday on the 26th :), that my brother is mad at me. Nope he ain't. That is why I never was a good joke teller, cause I always messed the punch line up!

In reality his anger began over his cell phone server and his deceased wife which he did say if she were alive, he would kill her. Without going into great detail, he was mad at her for the way she set up the account and mad at the server Cingular/BellSouth for having him to physically bring her in to sign a consent form in order for him to make changes in their service after her death. He took her in on Friday and she died on Monday. I have no idea what transpired since that happened. All I know was he was irate with the the server enough that he cancelled it, which he called to tell me that I no longer had cell phone service and to just throw the phone away. I do not need a cell phone as I hate all phones in general! I hope this clears this up.

Also, gattina brought to my attention that possibly I could hurt my son or his wife's feelings as to my comments on my last post. Welp since he don't read my blog, he only comes prior to calling on Sunday night I guess to see if I lived another week. I noticed yesterday that he stayed 25 minutes at my blog, so I of course found that highly unusual. The thought did enter my mind, that he might take it wrong, although all I meant to say and did say was that so far I still do not know if they are coming home for Christmas or not. Also, that most likely they will go to Toronto to see her family as weeks ago when it was mentioned, she said in the background that William (her brother) was going to Toronto for a week, so I assumed that to mean that they would be going to. I also think that in most families what the wife says go as to such little things as this.

Normally if Kev is not going to call on Sunday nights, he will either tell me the Sunday prior while we are on the phone or if something comes up, he will email me and tell me they are doing this or that and will not be calling. Yesterday, I did not get any inkling that he was not going to call until 8:00 sharp came and went and no call. Welp needless to say, Kev did not call last night. I can worry that yes he is upset with me or I can think maybe something came up.
Either case, I don't know nor will I know until I do hear from him again, if and when I do.

I started this blogging for therapy and it has been such a life saver for me both mentally and physically. I have met so many wonderful folks. I only tell things as they happen. I just do not always get it all out in its entirety I suppose.

I also made my dear neighbor across the street mad to me about a post of mine way, way back and after a couple apologies she is still mad. It was all such a trival event which in the grand scheme it all started from an email from her hubby for a message to be sent to a co-worker of Jerrell's. I found humor in the whole thing, but she could not see it. I never mean to say things to hurt anyone, whether it is a friend, an unknown reader of mine, but for heaven's sake, least of all my son. So I just wanted to correct the intent of those statements which I feel stupooid doing as a blog is just a place I go to release my feelings and express my feelings on whatever happens to be on my mind.
This just happened to be on my mind most of the night. I tried to sleep in this morning, but I woke up with an angina attack at 8:00 this morning, so that shot my sleeping in. Right after getting up, Jerrell called to check in on me and I told him I was tired of living like this, to which he replied, "it is better than the alternative" and I said welp maybe to you, but I am tired of this undescribable pain and just as soon not go on like this. He does know how bad the pain is, as he has had a heart attack and they don't come pain free, I assure ya.

Life goes on. Would ya'll believe that I just turned off the burner on my collard greens. I had a huge mess of them to look, wash and para boil this morning and plan on frying out some fatback and make a cake of cornbread to go with the collards for supper tonight. That is one of Jerrell's favorite meals and I kinda love them too! Hope you all enjoy this pretty day, cause here in NC it spose to turn cold again by the weekend.
Take care and thanks for your visits and your comments.


God Bless!

8 comments:

Clara....in TN said...

Hi Claudia, good to see you posting. It's been a busy week-end for me, but maybe today and tomorrow things will be back to normal (whatever that is). Bill is not doing good. He is getting a "scooter"...one of the mobility chairs. Maybe he can go to the mall and different places. He seems to feel better if he can get out of the house.....and I'm just the opposite....I feel better if I can stay at home!!! But I will take him wherever he wants to go. It keeps peace in the family...LOL
Take care of yourself... will be typing at you again soon!!

Grammie said...

Claudia....it sounds like you have been having a lot of stress in your life lately...and that is probably the last thing that you need.

What I love about your posts is that they are genuine and authentic...you shouldn't need to apologize about being yourself. I do understand that people can misconstrue things and sometimes get their feelings hurt...and I am sorry if this happened with your son and/or neighbor.

The only problem about the written word is that the emotions that we feel cannot always be expressed in the way we mean for them to be. The person reading our thoughts cannot see the look on our face, a smile, a wink, a frown, etc. and thus must put their own emotions into the words.

I know that you are in a lot of physical pain...and that life can get you down sometimes to where the "alternative" may seem like a better solution...but, please know that you are loved and appreciated by so many of us that read your posts and get a peek into your life and heart.

Please take care, xoxo Grammie

That Cleaning Lady said...

Yep, what Grammie said goes for me too! You are very appreciated and I look forward every day to reading what's going on in your world Claudia! I hope every day that you feel good and want to get up and Blog -- for my mental as well as physical wellbeing! And I realize from my own blog that people can't "get" jokes or see that wink or smile behind the message. To them, I way, well if it hurts your feelings, then the truth can't be too far off, is it?? =-). I'm sorry I misunderstood about your brother being mad, and I agree about darn phones in general!! Hopeless intrusions all of them! Take care, and chin up my friend! Hope you talked to your MD and got an earlier appointment without feeling like you're putting him out!!

That Cleaning Lady said...

Oh - and dinner sounds great! Hope you all enjoyed it!

Teresa said...

Claudia, I just want to let you know how much I love your blog. I think you are brave, funny, sincere, and kind. I've told you before that I only read a few blogs each day, and yours is one of those. I think the humor mixed with honesty is what I enjoy most. I wish there was some way to take away your pain, but for some reason God has chosen to hand this burden to you. Maybe a different doctor might hold an answer. I don't know, but I do know we all appreciate and love the Claudia we've come to know.

Moobear said...

Thanks to all of you for being the good folks that you are.
Clara, Grammie, Jana and Teresa, all your comments were so
special and meaninful to me.For you folks is why I want to
keep blogging. I do not take my friends lightly and I want
ALL of you to know that. Each of you are special and many days
little things each of you have said has touched me and inspired
to keep on keeping on. I am truly blessed with friends like ya'll.


God Bless!

Ordinary Janet said...

That's why I didn't tell anyone close to me about my blog-no neighbors, family or friends (except my best friend) know about it.

Hope you're feeling better and the angina stays away for a while!

Moobear said...

Janet, I understand what you are saying. Hindsight is 20/20. If I ever have another one, no one will know cept for my blogging family. I have always learned the hard way and so I too chalk this blog as one prime example. :) Thanks for coming by!